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Real Dating - Part 4

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"Rebel With a Cause"

Real Dating - Part 4 Transcription

 It’s good to have so many new faces with us today, if you are just joining us today or you’ve been here for awhile, you’ll know that we’re in the middle of a series we’ve been calling “Real Dating.”  And what we’ve been looking at in this series is kind of God’s advice and God’s directive when it comes to the whole dating and relationships which ofcourse would lead us to marriage one day. 

 

So what we’ve been looking at we said at the very very beginning of this series to catch some of you up to speed, we said that in order to be happy in life and to find fulfillment in life, you’ll never ever be happy and find true happiness unless you find “The One.”  And if you’re searching for the one, you can never be happy until you find that “One”, but then we said that “the One”,  is not a girl or a boy or a cute or a this or a that, “The One” is really our Lord Jesus Christ and if you haven’t found him then that’s the first love relationship that you must have and if you don’t have that, none of the other relationships that you have, no matter how good they are, no matter how cute she is, no matter how witty he is isn’t going to make any difference because unless it’s built on the foundation of your relationship with God Almighty, it will never be successful.

 

Then the next week we looked at, okay, so if God is “The One,” and we know how to find “the One,” we talked about how to find the “Two,” how to find that spouse and we talked about some of the principles God has laid for us in his word and we said how the world has certain standards of how you find “the Two” but God has higher standards.  And we made a commitment to sticking to God’s higher standards for finding “the Two.”

 

Last week, we looked even  more specifically at how to not find “the Two,” but more importantly how to be “the Two.”   We looked at that from the men’s perspective, how we can be the proper Two and how we can be that Godly husband and be that Godly courtship guy that God wants us to be and we looked at that last week. 

 

And today, we’re going to flip the coin and go to the female side.  Now, before we start, I have two things:  an announcement and a prayer request. 

 

1.        The Prayer request is that I need the gentlemen in the room to pray for me.  Because I’ll be giving advice to the females and you know that it’s much easier to give advice to the males than it is to the females.  It’s easy to talk to the guys and bash them and tell them they’re horrible and tell them that they’re worth nothing.  They smile, they laugh, they come back to church the next week and everything’s fine.  We see this every father’s day, every father’s day the sermon’s always bashing fathers about how horrible the family unity and how it’s all the father’s fault, they smile, they kinda look up and come back next week.  What about mother’s day?  Do we bash mothers on mother’s day?  No, mother’s day the sermon has to be how special they are; how much we love them; how much we need them.  Even from the very beginning in school, I can think of every single year we did great mother’s day things, I can’t think of one thing they ever taught us to do for father’s day.  Father’s day just kinda came and went as is.  But mothers…we have to kinda speak in a “sensitive” way or else they’re going to kill you!   So that’s the first thing, I need a prayer request from all the guys to pray for me so that I don’t get hit by flying objects today as I’m talking.

 

2.       The second thing that I have is an announcement.  In your handout, at the very very top, underneath the title, you’ll see there’s an internet address llquestion@aim.com.  I know that sometimes questions have been coming up as you’re sitting there and people have told me, “I wanted to ask you a question, but I didn’t want to raise my hand and all that kinda stuff.”  So we want to give you a chance to ask your questions because at the end of this series we’re going to have one session dedicated entirely to the questions that you had.  So already I have been receiving a lot of questions as we’ve been going along and I’ve been writing those down and at the very end, we’ll address all those questions in an organized way.  So you can send email to that address to get questions put on there or what you can do if you’d like a question answered immediately, you can send a text message to that address (I know everyone here is high-tech) and it’ll pop up here.  Now, I’m not going to answer every question that appears because some of them may be off-topic or some of them may be a whole different thing, but you can ask your question and at least I’ll include it when I do the Q&A at the end and who knows, if it’s something that can bring clarity to our discussion today I may answer it right now.  Now I don’t want to see people texting the whole time okay?  I don’t wamt to see lots of commotion and stuff like that, if you have “a” question (that’s why the address is LLQuestion not Question(s)…if you have a question that you want clarity on, you can ask a short, brief question.

 

Okay, on to our topic for today….”Rebels with a cause.”

 

Last week we looked at the guys and what the guys need to do to get inshape and today we’re going to look at what the girls need to do to get in shape and to prepare themselves for the most important relationship in their life which is the marriage relationship. 

 

Now, I know what most of you are thinking, look here, I can read the single girls’ minds.  Guys, you know what every single girl is thinking right now??  Everyone of them is thinking the same thing.  They’re thinking right now, “this is going to be a short talk because the problem ain’t us!  This is going to be a very short session, because the problem abouna Anthony is not us!!  The problem is, there’s no good guys!”

 

There’s no good guys, everyone thinks this, “we have tons of great girls but not enough good guys.”  This isn’t just here, this is in other churches that I go to.  I was meeting with the pastor from the church across the street, Church of the Apostles, and he was telling me the same thing.  This is like a common thing but I’m going to debunk that myth today.  I’m going to debunk the myth that there are no good single guys and I’m going to prove it to you right now. 

 

In my hand here, last night I was feeling compassionate for the single females here, so I did some research.  I went to copticmatch.com

 

[audience laughs]

 

Some of you I guess are familiar with copticmatch.com!!  haaha….actually I’d like to speak to some of you about that afterwards, I may have seen your bios last night. 

 

I went to copticmatch.com which is a real website which really tries to match “Coptic youth” from all over the world.  All the different countries in the whole wide world, this is a real website, I’m not inventing this stuff.  This is true, okay?  And these are not crazy people off the street, these are nice young Coptic men and women, just like yourselves, so ladies get yourselves prepared, I’m going to read to you some of the bios here and if something floats your boat you can come talk to me afterwards I can give you the screen name and we’ll see how it works out.  I get a little cut of the commission here or something hahahaaa.

 

Here goes….now I’m going to switch some of the names like some of them I’m going to give you the name but it may not be associated with that particular bio just for the sake of privacy, I don’t know, maybe it’s someone here or something like that.  So I may say a screen name, but it’s not particularly associated with the bio, so relax there’s some anonymity going on here, but some of the screen names are just too funny to let go.

 

BIO ONE

First one…with a screen name called “Bishbish109.”  Male, 22, lives in the Southern USA (I won’t tell you what state), 6 foot 4, describes himself as “Athletic.”  Speaks Arabic, English, Italian, Spanish, French and German.

Music:  Likes a variety.  Like’s hiphop, likes Arabic old school and ofcourse on top of that coptic hymns!  (what else would make perfect sense?)!!

Describes himself..(listen carefully here, now there’s some bad grammer, I’m quoting it exactly)… “I’m nice, shy, young lad with curly hair. I am looking for someone to hook up with and marry.  I am looking to marry within a couple of months.” 

 

Straight to the point, he’s not messing around!

When asked to describe his ideal match, he says, since he had curly hair, “girl with curly hair, nice face, hot body, someone who wants kids” and ofcourse the most important part, “can get married soon.”  I think the INS may be looking for this guy! Hahaha

 

 

BIO TWO

Next guy…his screen name is…”Ana Gameel”  [audience laughs].  Which if you don’t understand Arabic, means ‘I am beautiful.’  This is real stuff, I’m not inventing this!

Male, 24, from the mid-west, describes himself as “very involved in church, very spiritual, serves in his church.  Don’t drink, don’t smoke,” and when asked to describe his ideal match gave one word…. “You.”!!!  Hahahaaa  Obviously not a very picky man!! 

 

BIO THREE

This is the funniest one of them all….and I wanted to show the picture of associated with this next guy because it was just a hysterical picture but my wife convinced me that’s probably not appropriate.  So anyway, this guy is actually one of our brothers from New York and the picture….you gotta picture it with me……is a sort of chubby gentlemen with glasses, kinda dorky looking and he’s playing tennis!  Okay? And he says he’s from flushing meadows New York and he says, and I quote, “I am a tennis player.  My friends all say I should be in the US Open.  I played in Egypt in the Naady and was always winning” Naady means like the summer camp for the kids, okay? He continues, “My friends say I am really good and I should be in the US Open.”

When asked about his idea match, logic, “someone who plays in the US Open.”!!  And maybe who plays in the naady as well!!  “I’m looking for a woman… anything really.”  Then he finished.

 

BIO FOUR

The last one that I’m going to read to you guys incase none of those got you going.  This is actually someone who’s name is “D-lite,” and this person, I’m not going to tell you where he’s from because he’s actually from a state that’s not too far away from here and he may be with us here today, so D-Lite, if you’re here, I’m with you man!!  I’m with ya!

[audience laughs]

D-lite says, and I quote, behold the ultimate challenge for any female, “I’m 37 years old, haven’t been on a date for 14 and a half years.” There must be a better intro for D-lite than that one but that’s okay.  He continues, “I live with my mum, I make $19,800 per year, I don’t have a credit card, I don’t have a cell phone BUT….i do have my own….playstation 2; nintendo64; supernintendo and Atari 20600”  ladies and gentlemen!!! Every one of those, stay back, ladies hold yourselves….it gets better…..”my room is always messy, my mum realy hates that.  Religion is not an issue with me, I’m seeking a date, not salvation!

If all that doesn’t bother you, I hope you would email me.  Please email after 11pm, my mum likes to read my email and she goes to sleep at 10:30pm.”

 

[audience laughs]

 

Ladies, if you’re interested, come talk to me afterwards! I’ll help you out here.  Actually, you know what, let’s forget about the rest of the session, I think we need to pray for D-Lite and the rest of those guys!!  We can take a prayer session for them.

 

But seriously……

 

Last week, we looked at the role of men and we looked at the story of creation in the book of Genesis.  We saw how God created man and woman and we saw the principles that taught us, from the basic story of creation.  Let’s pick up the story again, in Genesis Chapter 3 here and see what it can teach us about females and their role in relationships. 

 

“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.” (Genesis 3:6)

 

Let’s recap what we talked about last week, we looked at man’s first sin.  We said that man’s first sin was…a sin of passivity.  Man was given the gift of leadership and man was ordained to be the leader in this relationship and to take charge of the situation and lay down the law here and say, “ you know what?  We’ll obey God above anyone else so even if this slimy serpent tells us this, we trust in God’s word.”  Man did not fulfill the gift that’s in him of leadership and he was in a passive role.  So man at his worst was passive, because man at his best is fulfilling the gift of leadership that God has put inside him. 

 

What about woman?  What’s woman’s first sin?  Rebellion.  Woman’s first sin was rebellion, right?

God said, “don’t eat.”

She said, “I’m going to eat.”

God said, “You can eat anything you want but don’t touch that tree.”

She said, “why can’t I touch this tree?  I’m going to take this tree and I’m going to give to my husband from that tree as well.”

She rebelled against the command of God.  So, again, if man at his worst was passive, the woman at her worst was “rebellion” then woman at her best is fulfilling the gift that God has given her of….submission.  The gift of submission. 

 

I said the gift of submission okay?  Just trying to make sure no-one’s going to throw something at me!

 

Submission submission submission submission submission.

 

I know that as soon as I say the word “submission,” some of you just clicked the off switch.  Boom….off.  Some are thinking, “Here we go again, our old fashioned, Egyptian culture doesn’t know what’s going on, isn’t even in the 80s, this is back in the stone ages, he doesn’t know what in the world he’s talking about right now.”

 

Relax.  Those of you who are getting all uptight, relax.  Why so defensive ladies?  Why?  Why submission makes us feel so bad? Why that word turns us off?  Why do we get so defensive when we hear we’re supposed to be submissive?

 

Well, you know why?  You want to know the reason why?  Because at your true roots you are…rebellious!

 

That’s right!  You heard me!  I’m not scared!  You heard me!  Women, at your worst, you’re rebellious just as men at their worst are passive.  That’s right, I’m saying the truth, that you, ladies, inside, there’s a spirit of rebellion that’s always at work there and that’s why whenever we hear about this submission we don’t like it.  Now before you turn me off completely, and start writing death threats to me, let me tell you something ladies that no other priest will tell you when it comes to the issue of rebellion and submission.  I am telling you that if you feel rebellious, and if you want to rebel, go for it man!!!  Go for it!  Rebel!!  Be rebellious!  Go with the flow!  If you have a feeling of rebellion that’s inside you, go with it and don’t let anyone stop you.  You know why?  You know why I’m saying that?  Not because I’m a crazy person, but because a principle that we can learn here is that to rebel against one thing is really to submit to another.  Logic.  Just as to submit to one thing is to rebel against another. 

 

Can’t you see that clearly with Eve and the garden of Eden?  It’s very clear.  God told her, “don’t eat this,” Satan said, “no, I think you should eat this.”  At this point in time she had a choice, either rebel against what God said and submit to the devil’s request or vice versa….rebel against the devil and the snake and submit to God’s commandments. 

 

So when I’m telling you to rebel, I’m telling you ladies it is time to get mad, crazy, rebellious and it is time to go crazy with rebellion, not rebellion towards God but rebellion towards the ways of the world, especially if you’re looking into this whole marriage thing and trying to get married and looking into finding “the Two” in your life, rebellion against the world’s ways that you should accomplish that goal.  And by the same token, rebellion against that and submitting to God’s ways.  What we want to do is rebel against everything that is not pleasing to the Lord when it comes to dating and relationships, and by the flipside, submit to everything that is pleasing to the lord.

 

We previously looked at the differences between men and women and we said that woman are more emotional than men.  Women are more relational than men are.  Remember, what was man doing when relationships first started?  He was dead asleep.  He was sleeping then when it started and some men have been sleeping ever since when it comes to the ideas of relationships, they have been clueless ever since.  Women are more relationally oriented and because of that, they are more susceptible to the lies that the devil feeds us.  They are more susceptible to being lied to in this particular area and when you submit to the lies of the devil you’re rebelling against the truth of God and more importantly, you’re doing like Eve, you’re kicking yourself out of the garden of joy and the garden of delight.  So you end up hurting yourself more than anything else. 

 

What we want to do today is to go on a holy rebellion.  We want to go on a holy rebellion which equals a Godly submission.  We’re going to look at three areas where we’re going to rebel against what we usually think and submit towards what God teaches us to do and his word. 

 

1.        Rebel against the outward beauty lie and submit to the inward beauty truth.

 

First area we need to rebel against is the outward beauty lie and submit to the inward beauty truth.  From the day you were born, you have been fed this lie, that it’s all about the outside.  It’s all abot how you look, about how much you weigh, and about your hair and about your eyes and about all those outside stuff.  Today we must rebel against that and submit to what the word of God says.  The word of God says:

 

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”  (Proverbs 31:30)

 

“Charm is deceitful,” I like that expression very very much.  Ladies, I’ll be honest with you, I think some of you know what this means.  I think some of you know how to turn on the charm.  The hair; the eyelids; the walk; the “heheheeee” (laugh).  You know how to do it.  You know how to turn on the charm, you know just the right touch  and this and that.  Ladies, let me tell you something….when you are doing that you know what’s happening to the male around you?  His brain just goes on freezer mode.  Okay?  His brain just dies and just becomes a dead person because charm is deceitful and some of us unfortunately know how to use that.  So guys, we gotta be stronger against that stuff!!

 

You know in the original Hebrew language (because you know I’m a scholar in Hebrew and things like that), it says, “whatever’s perky and firm today and charming eventually becomes flabby and annoying!!”  hahaa, I’m just joking, that’ not the original Hebrew.  Just joking.    But that’s what the original Hebrew meant to say.  So don’t fall for everything that you see on the outside because everything that looks nice today may not look nice tomorrow and anything that seems a beautiful characteristic on the outside (a humor, etc) may not be  so charming later on in life.  But a woman who fears the Lord, man, that’s someone special.  That’s a special gift because that will never fade and that  will never ever pass away because that’s an inside thing.  World says outside focus, God says inside focus.  You chose who you rebel against and you chose who you submit to. 

 

Now again, because I’ve been given the gift of mind-reading I know that some of you ladies are thinking the same thing, “You know what? I wish I can just focus on my inner beauty, my outward beauty is a curse to me.  Because all guys are just interested in my outward beauty and every time there’s a guy and there’s a potential, he only cares about one thing.  They only care about one thing, they’re all the same, they only want someone like this, they only want some who’s this.” 

 

Let me tell you something ladies….if you are constantly attracting the same kind of guy you must be careful what bait you are using.  If I go fishing, and I always catch a particular kind of fish that I’m not really fishing for, I need to check what kind of bait I’m using because maybe I’m using the wrong kind of bait.  And maybe I’m playing with that bait too much  and that’s why I’m attracting those guys. You attract what vibe you put out.  So, the ones who are putting out the Godly vibe are attracting the Godly but if you are consistently time after time after time after time attracting the physical, the guy that cares nothing about the inside, the outside guy, then I have bad news for you.  You may be putting out the wrong kinda vibe.  If you want a guy who’s interested in inner value, you must place high value on your inner beauty if that’s what you’re looking for in a guy.

 

So I need everyone to ask themselves these questions…how much time do you spend investing in your outward beauty.  Compare that to the time you invest in your inner beauty.  And I’m not saying don’t look nice and I’m not saying don’t comb your hair, I’m not saying that stuff.  What I’m saying is that the amount of time that I’m investing in my physical appearance; in the clothes that I wear, in my physique or something like that…compare that to the amount of time I’m investing  in my inner beauty and my inner life, the prayer, the word of God.  You ask yourself.

 

I know that in today’s society some of you are thinking, “you know what?  That’s great in theory but it’s just not practical.  It’s not practical.  Fashion today abouna Anthony is tight and skimpy and this and that.  That’s the fashion today, I wish I can go against it but that’s the fashion.”  You know what?  I think that when you look at the word of God, the word of God talks a lot more about dressing in modesty and acting in modesty than it does about keeping up with the fashions of the world.  Look at this verse, he speaks very specifically, take this literally….

 

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.  For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,” (1 Peter 3:3-5)

 

I know that the fashion is outside and that everyone’s supposed to act in a certain way, but that’s what I’m trying to say, is rebel against that way. Rebel against that way and submit to God’s truth of inward beauty.

 

 

2.        Rebel against the “I need a guy” lie.

 

The second lie that we’re going to rebel against is we’re going to rebel against the “I need a guy lie,” and submit to the “I need God” truth.

 

Rebel against the I need a guy lie; “I gotta get married quick!  Whoever it is, I gotta get married.  I need to get married.  I need a guy in my life!” LIE and submit to the “I need God” truth.  Now, for this particular one, I called in an expert to speak to us about this one and the expert is my lovely wife.

 

[[[[Video of MaryAnn – sound unclear]]]]]]]

 

Can you ladies say what she said up there?  Let me just reiterate one thing that she said, she said, “God, if you don’t want me to get married, then I’ll accept it. I want it.  I want to get married, I really really want a husband and kids and a dog and a fence and all that kinda stuff, but you know what God?  If it’s not what you want I’m willing to accept it.”  Can you honestly say that?

 

I think a lot of us can’t.  You know why?  Because “I need a guy!  I need a spouse! I need one!  My mum told me from the beginning I need one, everyone around me has one.  I need one.  I need one.”  Are you willing to rebel against that lie and submit to the truth?  That you only need God and if God says you don’t need one, then you don’t need one.  Now I’m not advocating saying being single and becoming nuns and this and that, but it’s kinda like what she was saying up there, the concept of absolute surrender.  There’s a book that was written that she was reading that basically says until you’re ready to surrender something, God cannot help.  He can’t.  until I let go of this God can’t pick it up.  And the example that the book uses is a cup that may be a beautiful cup and a great cup and this and that but if there’s a small hole in it at the bottom, no-one’s going to drink from that cup.  And the same thing with God, God says, “I wanna give you and I wanna bless you and I wanna reward you and I want all these things for you…but…it seems like you want a lot more than you want Me.”  It can’t happen that way, God can’t be number Two to your spouse.  You can’t go to God and tell him, “I love you very much, quickly get me a spouse!”  you have made the spouse number one and God number two and in that situation, you may get married but you will not have what God has planned for you.  You do it the world’s way, we have already discussed that…the 60% divorce rate; the not real intimacy and all that kinds of stuff.  You can have all that if you want, you don’t need God’s blessing to have that.  If you want God’s blessing, you must learn to surrender it entirely.  I know that the reason God has blessed my marriage and blessed both me and Mary Ann beyond belief is because each one of us when we were dating we would stand together and pray as a couple, “God destroy this if it’s not what you want.  God, I love her, she loves me, we wanna be together forever but if it’s not your will, then somehow we’ll find a way to go on.  Because you know what, I love her but I love you more.  I want this but I want you more.”  I know that because of that, God has blessed us.  Can you do the same thing?  Can you surrender to God, can you trust Philippians 4:19:

 

“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)

 

Can you trust God for your riches or  you say, “you know what, I need spouse to give me this, God you take care of the small things, but I need my spouse to give me the big stuff.”  You need to get with God to really surrender this.  Now, I’m not saying that you say fancy words, “yes God I love you more and I don’t care about the spouse,” and your entire other rest of your life is lived differently.  God can see through it, I’m not talking about faking it and just saying words like a hocus pocus God.  You heard the story, she really walked out of there one day and she was so sad because she really thought God was telling her that she will be single for life.  until you can accept whatever God wants for you, you’ll never find the blessing from God. 

 

So rebel against the “I need a guy” lie and submit to “I need God” truth.

 

 

3.       Rebel against the “I can change him” lie and submit to the God’s best truth.

 

The last one is rebel against the “I can change him” lie.  You know that one right?  So rebel against the “I can change him” lie and submit to God’s best truth. 

 

We kinda discussed this a little bit last week, and here I’m speaking specifically to the sweet girls…..the good girls…..the nice girls.  And I want to say one thing to you…What in the world is your problem??

 

What is your deal?  Please explain to me what is your deal?  Why is it that you who is a sweet girl with so much potential, who deserve a God-fearing man, who deserve the best of the best of the best, you settle for losers.  You settle for the bad guy, you settle for the guy who isn’t that serious about anything and who isn’t going to help you get closer to God, who’s just breathing and has an income and therefore you took him just because he was there.  What’s your problem?

 

What you need is to get a clue, sweet girl, because you can do much better than that, and God has something very good instore for you sweet girl and you need to get a clue.  Maybe my message here today is a clue, (sorry guys, maybe this is going to be harmful for some of you guys). Maybe what I’m saying is a clue, maybe your parents begging you is a clue; maybe the 700 people around you who are telling you, “he’s a loser, he just wants a green card,” maybe those people are the clue!  Get a clue!  Get a clue!  You can do better!  You deserve the best and there isn’t one word in the bible that says settle for second best.  Get a clue, sweet girl. 

 

Why do you do that sweet girl?  You know why you do that?  Because you do this, “I can change him.”  No you can’t sweet girl, you can’t.  You will not change him, he will change you.  He will mess you up big time.  He’s not going to change because God has been trying to change him for years and you change him overnight?  You can’t change him.  You think you’re going to bring him up, but he’s dragging you down and he will destroy your life faster than anything else.  You wanna throw your life down the toilet?  Go ahead sweet girl, don’t say that I didn’t warn you. 

 

One time I was saying this to a girl and she came back to me with the verse when Christ is talking to the apostles and he’s saying that you used to be fishermen now you’ll be fishers of men.  She said, “same thing, I’m to be a fisher of men.  And I’m out there trying to catch the men, so I’m doing my best to be a fisher of men.”  Mmmmm…there may be a slight misinterpretation of the verse, but you know what?  Since you brought it up, let’s go for that.  You are fishing for me ladies and you are trying to find a good man.  If I’m fishing and I catch an insy wincy tiny little piece of junk fish, what do I do with it?  Throw the sucker back!!  And you should be doing the same thing.  Throw them back.  Don’t be happy with the little fish.

 

Some girls come to me with this tiny little fish…

 

Girl (squeaking)  :  oh abouna oh abouna, you’ll never guess… I caught a fish I caught a fish I caught a fish!

Abouna: Hey, that’s great, relax, what’s his name? where is he from?  Does he go to church?

Girl:  Oh abouna, he’s has this nice crazy smile and…

Abouna:  Okay, relax, is he spiritual, does he love God, does he go to church, like what is he?

Girl:  uhm…well….he’s really smart and he has a good job and he’s really funny and he has these dimples and he’s so cute!

Abouna:  Okay, relax, is he spiritual, does he love God, does he…have a bible?  Does he know how to pray?

Girl:  No, we haven’t gotten to that part of the relationship yet.  I haven’t asked that part yet. 

Abouna:  What are you talking about sweet girl?  What do you mean you haven’t gotten to that part yet?  That’s the most important part! 

 

Some of us think that the outside stuff and the inside we can change.  It doesn’t, trust me it doesn’t.  You sweet girl who settle for the guy who may be smart and may have great dimples and tells great jokes, fast forward now 15 years.  You’re married 15 years now, kid is sick, roof is leaking, bills can’t be paid and your funny-sense-of-humour-kinda-husband comes in with a great joke for you.  Is that what you’re looking for? A great joke to lighten the mood, or his dimples will solve all my problems!  What you want at that point in time is a man to get on his hands and knees and to shake the heavens with prayer.  You want a man of faith, you want a man who has a humble spirit, you want a man who has a gentle soul.  You want a man who will take you by the hand as an assertive leader and say, “we are going straight to the throne of God with every problem we have,” and he goes in faith and he goes in courage and he goes in boldness and he leads you closer to the kingdom of God.  That’s the kind of man you should be looking for. 

 

Don’t settle for the eh…fixer upper guy.  Don’t settle for the guys whos…eh…not bad, he needs some work, let me see if I can fix him up a little bit.  Why do you buy used when you can buy new?  Why do you buy something that’s junk with a lot of maintenance when you can buy something that’s perfect and God has something perfect for you.  So easy, throw the sucker back, don’t think twice about it. 

 

Some of you are thinking right now, how can I tell?  Well…

 

“Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit…..Therefore by their fruits you will know them.” (Matthew 7:17 & 20)

 

It’s very simple, you can see it by their fruit.  You tell me what is coming out of this man, is the love of God coming out of him?  Is faith in Christ coming out of him?  Is humility coming out of him?  What’s coming out?  You may say, “I don’t know, how am I supposed to know?”  like a told you a couple of weeks ago, you should know right away.  This shouldn’t be a long process, you shouldn’t have to date someone for a month to figure out if they love God.  If it doesn’t come up in the first month, it isn’t going to come up because it’s not there.  I told you before, you should know on the first date, you should know within the first thirty minutes of meeting someone if they love the Lord, are they committed to the Lord or are they not.  Because if it hasn’t come out of their mouth in the first thirty minutes, it’s probably not in there.  And if it isn’t there, it’s probably hidden somewhere in the back and they’ll be kind of a faking thing.  You should be able to see it, smell it, touch it, the love of God inside of them.  And if you can’t…throw it back!  Don’t settle for the “casual Christians”, or the “CEO Christians.”  Do  you know what CEO is?  It’s “Christmas Easter Only Christians.”  Some of you may be CEO Christians here huh? Hahaha.  Don’t settle for that guy.

 

Do you want to know what the key in this whole thing is?  Actually, it’s something abouna Bishoy touched on in the sermon today and I’ll elaborate on it.  Do you know the key to attracting a man of true worth?  Ladies…the key to attracting a man of true worth is becoming a woman of true worth.  You know what?  It applies to everything in life.  this goes to the guys too.  You will attract what you are, ‘Birds of a feather flock together.’  What is the easier way for me to attract you to wave to me, I do this (wave).  What’s the easiest way to make you smile?  I smile.  What’s the easier way to have someone on the road give you the finger?  Give them the finger!  You attract what you are.  The process starts with you boys and girls, it doesn’t start with the other.  This applies also to the married people in the room who have a list, longer than the list of Santa Claus of the things they want changed in their spouse.  All the stuff that my husband needs to become and all the things that my wife needs to become.  Check yourself first man!  Michael Jackson said it best, go with the man in the mirror.  You attract what you are so before you go looking at someone and saying that he needs to be more loving or he needs to be more spiritual or he needs to be this and that…maybe you need to start by looking at yourself first because you will attract what you are. 

 

Where to go from here?  I’m going to show you one more verse, we talked about it a couple of weeks ago, but it really is the theme of this series here:

 

“Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”  (Psalm 37:4)

 

Delight yourself in the Lord.  Submit what makes the Lord happy.  Delight means take pleasure in his pleasure; enjoy what makes him happy; look forward to doing things that will put a smile on his face and the way he wants you to do things.  Why?  Because when you do that he shall give you the desire of your heart.  When you begin delighting yourself in the Lord, do you know what the Lord does?  The Lord changes you, he changes your heart, he changes your desires, he makes you more like him when you delight yourself in him and you become more like him.  And you know what?  He starts fulfilling his desires one at a time which now become your desires.  I’m saying this because I’ve lived this and because I’ve seen it so many times around.  Those who know how to delight themselves in the Lord, I promise that God will take care of your desires and take care of your needs and will never leave any of his children hungry.  If you don’t believe that, you have a problem.  You have a big problem.  You are insulting God and saying, God I don’t believe you are big enough to provide my needs.  That’s a problem much bigger than dating and marriage.  That’s a serious problem if you don’t really believe that God can provide for you and give you what it is that you need. 

 

If my son doesn’t have full faith and confidence that I can take care of him, there’s problem right there and I’m offended by that.  That he doesn’t believe that I can take care of him.  Same thing with our heavenly father.

 

Recap…

 

Men, at your best are strong leaders.  God has given you the gift of leadership and to take charge of the situation.  At your worst, you are passive. 

Women, at your best you are submissive, because at your worst you are wickedly rebellious.  Let us be submissive to what God wants us to do.

 

Let’s stand up for a prayer:

 

In the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit one God, Amen.  We thank you our dear heavenly father because you are not a small God, you care a big God, because you are a God who’s faithful and takes such good care of us, more than a father takes care of his kids, you take care of us.  You do so much dear Lord that we don’t even realize we don’t even think about and then we come to you, after all that you’ve done for us and we say to you that we don’t believe that you’re big enough to handle this problem.  We don’t trust that you can provide for me.  Forgive us dear Lord for our lack of faith, forgive us for looking at you and seeing a small God and not seeing Almighty God who parts seas, who moved mountains who juggles the universe in the palm of his hands.  We trust in you Lord, that you will provide for us, give us to be able to rebel against all the lies the devil’s poisoning us with, you know how he’s poisoning us day in and day out in TV and in movies and in magazines and in all kinds of junk.  Give us dear Lord to submit to your truth and love you and to surrender ourselves entirely to you.  Give a special blessing to our gathering, whose who are single, those who are married, those who are troubled in soul and mind and spirit, we pray that your comforting hand may be upon them this day.  We pray that all this in the name of our Lord, God and savior Jesus Christ and the intercession and prayers of all your saints, here’s Lord as we pray thankfully, Our father who art in heaven….